Fuck Everything, Were Doing Five Blades | The Onion - Americas...

From the page: "Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turb...

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62 Reviews

malfist rated 7 weeks ago

Now I know why I use a DE Safety Razor.

gruelin1 rated 2 months ago

this is truly funny

stupidjoketeller rated 3 months ago

The best part is Gillette actually made a razor with 5 blades since this was published...

ShishkaLarry rated 5 months ago

I read this a few years back and its still great. The final sentence is pure magic. I don't know how many leprechauns were ground up or which dark gods were appeased but I don't care.

JohnnyE rated 6 months ago

Nostradamus himself could do no better. The only part they missed was the "we'll sell it by pretending it has something to do with fusion power!"

gaarra rated 6 months ago

Fuck Everything! We're using 5 Blades!

perrymason rated 6 months ago

From the page: "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades"

Darksong37 rated 5 months ago

My friend has always said this about the razor industry, but never so... Forcefully :)

chilty106 rated 8 months ago

this is great!

tashalalala rated 7 months ago

Funniest onion article... ever.