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 caffeina rated 19 months ago - III. How College Kids Imagine the United States Government THE PRESENT DAY--Did you hear the news, Mr. President? The students at theUniversity of Pittsfield are walking out of their classes, in protestover the war.--(spits out coffee) Wha-- What did you say?--Apparently, students are standing up in...
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20 Reviews
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- SwickTaxi rated 10 months ago
- Clever, and quite accurate I'd say.
- Elwood rated 19 months ago
- (UNICEF sits on a throne. He is wearing a cape and holding a sceptre. A servant enters, on his knees.)
UNICEF: Halloween is fast approaching! Have the third graders been given their little orange boxes?
SERVANT: Yes, your majesty!
UNICEF: Perfect. Did you tell them what the money was for?
SERVANT: No, sir, of course not! We just gave them the boxes and told them to collect for UNICEF. We said it was for "a good cause," but we didn't get any more specific than that.
UNICEF: Ha ha ha! Those fools! Soon I will have all the money in the world. For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!
- failon rated 19 months ago
- From the page: "MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: Iâ€m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are."
- TapwaterJ rated 19 months ago
- Strange . . . I still think this way.
I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
[It gets funnier]
- ottofox rated 17 months ago
- A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table:
From the page: "GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don't tell the kids."
- OldskoolPrincess rated 19 months ago
- From the page: "
II. A Day at UNICEF Headquarters, as I Imagined It in Third Grade
(UNICEF sits on a throne. He is wearing a cape and holding a sceptre. A servant enters, on his knees.)"
- eri90 rated 19 months ago
- From the page: "I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids Table
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Lets talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you wont tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there arent.
MOM: I am angry! Im angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I'm angry, too! We are angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I'm crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don't tell the kids."
- rachel1231 rated 19 months ago
- From the page: "MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I%u2019m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are."
- fantm rated 19 months ago
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From The New Yorker... very funny!
A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids' Table
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I'm having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let's talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won't tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren't.
MOM: I'm angry! I'm angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I'm angry, too! We're angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
Found on the minimalist pages of TapwaterJ
- NeedsMoreCoffee rated 19 months ago
- From the page: "â€"You havenâ€t heard the half of it, Mr. President. The leader of the group says that if you donâ€t stop the war today theyâ€re going to . . . to . . . Iâ€m sorry, I canâ€t say it out loud. Itâ€s just too terrifying.
â€"Say it, damn it! Iâ€m the President!
â€"All right! If you donâ€t stop the war . . . theyâ€re going to stop going to school for the remainder of the week.
â€"Send the troops home.
â€"But, Mr. President! Shouldnâ€t we talk about this?
â€"Send the troops home.
"
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