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  • http://www.losteyeball.com/index.php/2007/06/19/56-worstbest-analogies-of-high-school-students/

    Apparently the washingtonpost held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the "worst" analogies they'd encountered in grading their students' papers over the years. (I place "worst" in quotes because many of these actually strike me as quite witty). The top... more

    Reviewed by julieann081 Dec 29 2008, 01:25pm ( 45 reviews ) • losteyeball.com

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  • Rated by KingOfSporkdom on Jul 09, 1:39pm

    I'd seen most of these, but they were almost all completely hilarious. One of the ones that I was rather disappointed that they didn't have is "The horizon swallowed the setting sun like a dog sucking an egg, but not quite."

  • Reviewed by jljordan2 on Mar 21 2009, 8:18pm

    Ooo, I loved the Jeopardy one. My favorite tv show, who could go wrong with that? Her vocabulary is was bad as, like, whatever... What's really unfortunate is that I'm sure some high school students actually understand this one....

  • Rated by leftofthered on Feb 18 2009, 6:55pm

    I literally laughed out loud more than once reading these. Absolutely hilarious. My favorite? "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River." Now, if that's not poignancy, I don't know what is. If teachers get to read this stuff all day long, I clearly underestimated how wonderful the profession could be.

  • Rated by avigle on Jan 15 2009, 8:39pm

    hahahaha! My God! Thanks a lot for sending this, rdb268! From the page: "Apparently The Washington Post held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the "worst" analogies they'd encountered in grading their students' papers over the years. (I place "worst" in quotes because many of these actually strike me as quite witty). The top 25 of these have been circulating around the "Sandra Bullock" ("net", get it?) recently, but I decided to post all 56 that I was able to find."

  • Rated by rdb268 on Jan 03 2009, 5:26pm

    The Washington Post held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the "worst" analogies they'd encountered in grading their students' papers over the years. I got a good laugh out of this. Many of them could double as deep thoughts.

  • Rated by julieann081 on Dec 29 2008, 1:25pm

    Apparently the washingtonpost held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the "worst" analogies they'd encountered in grading their students' papers over the years. (I place "worst" in quotes because many of these actually strike me as quite witty). The top 25 of these have been circulating around the "Sandra Bullock" ("net", get it?) recently, but I decided to post all 56 that I was able to find. Here they are, in their order of objective funniness (in my opinion): 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. 2. He was as tall as a 63 tree. 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. [Read on.]

  • Rated by MC-Spectrum on Dec 21 2008, 2:20pm

    Wow these are really awful analogies.

  • Rated by mathgeekgirl on Dec 02 2008, 5:46am

    wow, just, wow...

  • Rated by DarkCloud14 on Nov 10 2008, 5:32pm

    From the page: "The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wifeâ€s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM."