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  • Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations

    Things People SaidCourtroom QuotationsThe following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.Lawyer:... more

    Reviewed by usmjam Dec 21 2005, 12:32pm ( 1130 reviews ) • rinkworks.com

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  • Rated by SeaWych on Dec 13, 3:55pm

    Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

  • Rated by angelgabriele52 on Dec 08, 6:07pm

    * Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?" * Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8." * Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?" * Witness: "Yes." * Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?" Funny!!!

  • Rated by Falling-Sideways on Dec 08, 5:58pm

    While this is hilarious, I do harbour some doubts as to whether or not this is legitimate. Either way, it made me laugh and I still don't understand this quotation: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"

  • Rated by rhov23 on Dec 08, 1:24pm

    There is no reason to believe the quotes are real just because it say so. Example: Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" An accused criminal cannot question his victim.

  • Rated by samdienerphilly on Dec 04, 1:27pm

    Hilarious!

  • Rated by donateyourbones on Dec 03, 8:08pm

    Wow...

  • Rated by JuliaCasal on Nov 17, 10:51am

    LOL! a lot of courtroom tv and the soap courtroom scenes have questions that are almost equally ridiculous.