Website review: Guilt and Shame | Escaping Hades: a...
Klassy discovered this in Mental Health
•3 reviews since Feb 27, 2008
mental-health
•escapinghades.pandys.org/guiltshame.html
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Klassy discovered 5 months ago- Here are some stories. They may be yours too. Don't just read. Listen closely. --- and i lay there helpless not even able to scream. how could i walk up those stairs, how could i have kissed him, i led him on. i feel so guilty so ashamed. he stole me from me and thats not fair. -T I lay there at night wanting to wish it all away,feeling disgusted and dirty with myself.I am ashamed of what happened,ashamed of me being Raped,how could I let this happen to me, to myself,why was'nt I strong enough, brave enough even? I do not know my attacker,I may never know him but I do know that he will ALWAYS be beneath my skin and know matter the showers,the baths,the nail digging scratches,he will ALWAYS be apart of me,Apart of my Guilt and Shame. -Byneta Robinson My memories are stored in my body. I have flashbacks without a face. I am triggered into panic and depression---patterns that cannot be denied. -Julie Shame is when you admit what happened, and that maybe it just wasnt your fault, but yet you still feel ugly on the inside, like it is your fault after all, and youre emabarassed that this would happen to you. Guilt is reporting what happened to the police, then not knowing what is going to happen next. If he goes to jail, its your fault, if he doesnt, youre still horrible because you would "make up" lies like that to ruin his reputation, since he's a nice guy. Guilt and shame should be what the criminal feels, not the victim/survivor. Guilt and shame make life unbearable. Guilt and shame are what others dump on your shoulders, because surely you did something to make him do what he did. Perhaps you dressed too suggestively, or you were making out, and then you went too far, and you felt guilty, so you called it rape. Then comes the shame because you lied. But really, it wasnt like that at all. It wasnt your fault. So why, as survivors, are we slapped with all! the guilt and shame when nothing we could have said or done could have made the perpetrator stop? Maybe someday I will get rid of all this guilt and shame, and just be me again. -Name Withheld --- i dedicate my life to survivors of sexual assault, but i still feel guilty, ashamed. i still question myself. i created another reality. one where i was always in control. but who is? who is? -Ada Guilt and shame. After I was raped I felt both of these. The guilt that I had done something to make him do what he did. Shame that I hadn't done anything to stop it from happening. Shame that I hadn't screamed, hadn't fought back. -Meg I feel guilty about what happened to me because I am guilty. I'm guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, of letting the wrong guy get close to me, of not speaking up after it happened. -Maggie Sometimes it seems like I just can`t stop talking about it. I`m almost compelled to casually mention it to people I meet - and know kind of well, but not that well. Usually people I would want to get to know better. But of course, the fact that I tell certainly doesn`t help with forming good long-term relationships. Who would look forward to spending time with somebody who within two or three times of meeting you, tells you about the skeletons in her closet? Then, of course, afterwards, I wonder why I lost control. I wonder what people think about me. What they imagine happened to me, why things happened, what they must think of me now. Of course, to a certain degree I know that it shouldn`t matter. But really, to me, it does. I don`t really know what to think. -Name Withheld Shame - Everyone knows, everyone is looking at me, everyone knows what happened to me, everyone is talking behind my back about it, everyone thinks it's my fault...even me, -S. Blair I never told anyone that shame has a face. When I was raped, I was stripped of my soul and my dignity. Ultimately, I was robbed of my humanness. I constantly live in fear, subconsciously hoping someone will protect the vulnerable person inside. I am broken within. The eyes of shame have permeated within my entire being. I am unable to expose my broken tears. I feel as though I exist within my defective body. -Chrissy Laker
- lovesmalibu rated 5 months ago
- "Who's Guilt - Getting angry with my husband, going in a club alone for the first time, ever, dancing with a guy, kissing that guy, letting that guy walk me to my car, I should not have passes out, I should not have taken a drink from a stranger, being drugged by that guy, being too stupid... being too stupid...being too stupid... to stop what happened to me. Being afraid to go to the police, not reporting the two men who raped me, letting them win, Shame - Everyone knows, everyone is looking at me, everyone knows what happened to me, everyone is talking behind my back about it, everyone thinks it's my fault...even me, -S. Blair" This happens to a lot of people, its so easy for it to happen. If you let your guard down for a second, it scars you forever.
- aggrocultural rated 5 months ago
- Every sentence of this website rings true. Too many of us have experienced coercion or violence at the hands of others, and then what is worse, been made to feel ashamed of it. "Rape shame is hard to escape...Attempts to dissipate the same by giving words to the unspeakable seem only to increase it. The shame is mirrored by the listener, sometimes quite obviously by a blush, an averting of the eyes, or a hunching of the shoulders, sometimes by silence. The telling then feels like a confession, an admission of wrongdoing, and the sense of is deepened. Shame is what the rapist, not the victim, should feel. Yet his shame is transferred to the victim, and her shame renders her mute. And her muteness seems to confirm the moral rightness of this transfer. The feeling of shame seems to make being the victim of rape an act of wrongdoing... "
