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ShirlT

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Shirl is a woman from Overtherainbow, Ontario, Canada

"One cannot divine nor forecast the conditions that will make happiness. One only stumbles upon them by chance, in a lucky hour at the world's end and then holds fast to them in memory"

  • http://hewantsrevenge.com/erudite-concepts/

    Rated Dec 27 2008 • 92 reviews • humor • hewantsrevenge.com

    1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

    2 - Borrow money from pessimists they don't expect it back.

    3 - Half the people you know are below average.

    4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

    5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

    7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

    9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

    10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

    12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    13 - How can you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

    14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

    15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

    16 - When everything seems to be coming your way, maybe you're in the wrong lane.

    17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.

    18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

    19 - I intend to live forever so far, so good.

    20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    23 - My mechanic told me, I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

    24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

    27 - Experience is something you dont get until just after you need it.

    28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

    29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

    30 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

    32 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

    33 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?"