lovesmalibu

"CLARA

Gwen: The cards are not something outside you. They can't make you do anything. They will just show you what's in your deeper consciousness.

While I shuffle the cards, be quiet for a moment and contemplate on knowing the best possible path that will help you and everybody else, and I'll do the same. That way I'll get your energy.

OK, the theme of your reading is kind of a two-edged one. It's about home and also how you're ready for a new phase.

Clara: That's so funny. I just moved to New York.

The first thing is the Ace of Pentacles, which means money and also means that you just moved. It's also very auspicious for having a fresh start, so that's fantastic to have along with the Ten of Pentacles. For a lot of people moving to New York is not a good idea, but for you it's very good.

In your case, the way your karma is, you're one of those people with whom whatever you do comes back right away, so you have to be careful about what you put out, because you're going to get it back ten times. You get immediate feedback that way, so be generous and nice.

OK.

The next card is the Four of Swords, which is the best thing that could happen next. That has to do with laying fears to rest. You don't have big fears, but you have anxieties. Some of the anxieties are about travel.

Yes.

The cards are saying you don't need to worry so much, you can let those fears go. You would benefit from a short trip, like a long weekend. The next card is the Eight of Swords, and this is about moving to New York. The cards are saying that in some ways it feels very restrictive to you because it's so crowded. You need to get out of the city periodically. Once a month is good. You might get sick if you don't. If you can't get out of the city go to Central Park or something.

You have the Two of Wands behind you, so I see you've done some travel in the past. The cards are saying, "Congratulations on being really brave and making this move. Good idea."

Good.

Your personal card is the Nine of Wands. In your reading it has to do with feeling like New York is dangerous place, it's a little scary, and that's why it's good to get out, so you don't have to get used to it all at once.

The next card you get is the Wheel of Fortune from the Major Arcana, which is why I made that comment to you about your karma; it's the card of karma. That comes in the position of other people for you, so the people you meet are going to have a big influence on your life. You're often going to have these feelings of "Where do I know them from? Why do they feel so familiar?" You have karma with them.

The next card is the hopes and fears, and it is the Five of Cups, and that's something to do with guilt. You have some kind of regret about the past.

Yeah.

You need to deal with it. The cards say if you just wronged someone, you don't have to make reparations directly, just do something for someone else and then consider it paid back so you can let it go. If someone wronged you, don't dwell on it or nurse it, because that will make you sick, especially if they lied to you or sort of used you. Again, just let it go. You may not believe in reincarnation, but your reading has a lot of reincarnation stuff in it.

I do believe in reincarnation.

The view you need to take is that we've all done things to other people, and they've done things to us, and it's just endless. You can never find the root, because it could be a thousand years ago."

Don't you love the feeling you get when you read something and feel like it was written just for you. Kinda makes us more self-centered, don'tcha think? Just kidding.

P.S. I'm in a rotten mood.

Little Sleep's-Head Sprouting Hair In The Moonlight by Galway Kinnell

1

You scream, waking from a nightmare.

When I sleepwalk
into your room, and pick you up,
and hold you up in the moonlight, you cling to me
hard,
as if clinging could save us. I think
you think
I will never die, I think I exude
to you the permanence of smoke or stars,
even as
my broken arms heal themselves around you.

2

I have heard you tell
the sun, don't go down, I have stood by
as you told the flower, don't grow old,
don't die. Little Maud,

I would blow the flame out of your silver cup,
I would suck the rot from your fingernail,
I would brush your sprouting hair of the dying light,
I would scrape the rust off your ivory bones,
I would help death escape through the little ribs of your body,
I would alchemize the ashes of your cradle back into wood,
I would let nothing of you go, ever,

until washerwomen
feel the clothes fall asleep in their hands,
and hens scratch their spell across hatchet blades,
and rats walk away from the cultures of the plague,
and iron twists weapons toward the true north,
and grease refuses to slide in the machinery of progress,
and men feel as free on earth as fleas on the bodies of men,
and lovers no longer whisper to the presence beside them in the
dark, O corpse-to-be ...

And yet perhaps this is the reason you cry,
this the nightmare you wake screaming from:
being forever
in the pre-trembling of a house that falls.

3

In a restaurant once, everyone
quietly eating, you clambered up
on my lap: to all
the mouthfuls rising toward
all the mouths, at the top of your voice
you cried
your one word, caca! caca! caca!
and each spoonful
stopped, a moment, in midair, in its withering
steam.

Yes,
you cling because
I, like you, only sooner
than you, will go down
the path of vanished alphabets,
the roadlessness
to the other side of the darkness,

your arms
like the shoes left behind,
like the adjectives in the halting speech
of old men,
which once could call up the lost nouns.

4

And you yourself,
some impossible Tuesday
in the year Two Thousand and Nine, will walk out
among the black stones
of the field, in the rain,

and the stones saying
over their one word, ci-gît, ci-gît, ci-gît,

and the raindrops
hitting you on the fontanel
over and over, and you standing there
unable to let them in.

5

If one day it happens
you find yourself with someone you love
in a café at one end
of the Pont Mirabeau, at the zinc bar
where white wine stands in upward opening glasses,

and if you commit then, as we did, the error
of thinking,
one day all this will only be memory,

learn,
as you stand
at this end of the bridge which arcs,
from love, you think, into enduring love,
learn to reach deeper
into the sorrows
to come - to touch
the almost imaginary bones
under the face, to hear under the laughter
the wind crying across the black stones. Kiss
the mouth
which tells you, here,
here is the world. This mouth. This laughter. These temple bones.

The still undanced cadence of vanishing.

6

In the light the moon
sends back, I can see in your eyes

the hand that waved once
in my father's eyes, a tiny kite
wobbling far up in the twilight of his last look:

and the angel
of all mortal things lets go the string.

7

Back you go, into your crib.

The last blackbird lights up his gold wings: farewell.
Your eyes close inside your head,
in sleep. Already
in your dreams the hours begin to sing.

Little sleep's-head sprouting hair in the moonlight,
when I come back
we will go out together,
we will walk out together among
the ten thousand things,
each scratched too late with such knowledge, the wages
of dying is love.




                                                                                      For my mother.

Lolita (1962) was Stanley Kubrick's sixth film - a brilliant, sly adaptation of Vladimir Nabokov's celebrated yet controversially-
infamous 1955 novel of a middle-aged man's unusual, doomed sexual passion/obsession for a precocious, seductive "nymphet" girl.
The black humor and dramatic story of juvenile temptation and perverse, late-flowering lust was centered on a pubescent nymphet and a mature literature professor in an aura of incest. Rather than a film of overt sexuality and prurient subject matter, its content was mostly suggestive, with numerous double entendres and metaphoric sexual situations.
The film's publicity posters asked the tagline: "How did they ever make a movie of Lolita?" with a picture of Lolita in a seductive lollipop pose. She wears heart-shaped sunglasses and licks a red lollipop. Indeed, at the time of the film's making, sexual freedom and content had not advanced to the point of acceptance that is commonly seen today. Lolita's opening credits, however, contain some of the most overtly-erotic, idealizing images of the entire film - designed to set the tone of the film.



"Humbert Humbert: You know, I've missed you terribly.
Lolita Haze: I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you.
Humbert Humbert: Oh?
Lolita Haze: But it doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway.
Humbert Humbert: What makes you say I've stopped caring for you?
Lolita Haze: Well, you haven't even kissed me yet, have you? "

YOU CAN WATCH THE ENTIRE FILM ONLINE.

I really love this man! And I think his words deserved to be shared. So here's one more poem of his.

5 Senses

"5 senses can not sense the fact of our existence,
And that's the only fact,
In fact there are no facts,
Fax me a fax and ill telegram a hologram a telephone this other friend and tell him he is done.
Leave a message on his answering machine Telling him there are none.
God and I are one.
Times moon times star times sun,
The fact or is me,
You remember me,
I slung amethyst rocks on Saturn blocks till I got caught up by earthling cops,
So I stopped combing my mind so my thoughts could lock.
m tired of trying to understand,
Perceptions are mangled, matted and knotted anyway,
Life is more then meets the eye and I,
So wile I made eyes and the third,
But even that shit seems absurd when your thoughts leave you third,
Isolated,
No man is an island but I often feel alone,
So I find peace through ohmmmm..."

Penny for a Thought - Saul Williams

"what's he gonna do with his freedom? talk on the radio?
radio programming is just that - a brainwashin' gleamed of purpose
to be honest, some freedom of speech makes me nervous
and you looking for another martyr in the form of a man
hair like a mane with an outstretched hand
in a roar of hearts, thoughts, reactionary defensiveness and counter
intelligence
what exactly is innocence?
fuck it, I do believe in the existence of police brutality
who do I make checks payable to?
a young child stares at a glowing screen transfixed by tales of violence
his teenage father tells him that that's life, not that Barney shit
a purple dinosaur that speaks of love, a black man that speaks of blood
which one is keeping it real, son?
who manufactured your steel, son?
hardcore, ancient elements at the earth's core
fuck it, I'mma keep speaking 'til my throats sore
an emcee told a crowd of hundreds to put their hands in the air
an armed robber stepped to a bank and told everyone to put their hands in
the air
a Christian minister gives his benediction while the congregation hold
their hands in the air
love the image of the happy Buddha with his hands in the air
hands up and feel confused, define tomorrow
your belief system ain't louder than my car system
nigga walked down my block with his rotwiler, a subwoofer on a leash
each one teach one
the DJ spins a new philosophy into a barren mind
I can't front on it
my head nods as if to clear the last image from an etch-a-sketch
something like Rakim said- I could quote any emcee, but why should I?
how would it benefit me? karmic repercussions
are your tales of reality worth their sonic laced discussions?
suddenly, the ground shivers and quakes
a newborn startles and wakes
her mother rushes to her bed side to hold her to her breast
milk of sustenance heals and nourishes
from the depths of creation life still flourishes
yet we focus on death and destruction, violence, corruption"

I have never heard of Saul Williams. But I stumbled upon his def poetry jam video while browsing through the other poets. And right now I'm in love with him! I think his verses are so intelliegent, and he says everything with so much passion and energy. I think he's very sexy! He doesn't have that many videos online, but if you want to see one, check out

Black Stacey

or List of Demands