Justintoxicated

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Last seen: 12 months ago

Justintoxicated is a 30 year old man from Broken Rape Whistle, Massachusetts, USA

I defended your freedom of choice during the great cola wars, you little bastards. Coca cola threw me in a camp and taste tested on me but they'll deny it, just like they denied the RC Cola-Caust. Oh the horrible things I've seen, pepsi clear, the new coke, diet tab all abominations of cola-tude. there's nothing soft about soft drinks. Okay by now you've established I'm a total ass, thank you and goodnight
please vote for my articles below also I'm pervert and a comedy writer.

I'm like that mean old whiskey drinking uncle of yours who was only nice to you right before he touched you inappropriately.

I also write, run, and produce all content for a news satire site called "The Daily American" (linked below)