Justintoxicated

Last seen: 11 hours ago

Justintoxicated is a 28 year old guy from Broken Rape Whistle, Massachusetts, USA

I defended your freedom of choice during the great cola wars, you little bastards. Coca cola threw me in a camp and taste tested on me but they'll deny it, just like they denied the RC Cola-Caust. Oh the horrible things I've seen, pepsi clear, the new coke, diet tab all abominations of cola-tude. there's nothing soft about soft drinks. Okay by now you've established I'm a total ass, thank you and goodnight please vote for my articles below also I'm pervert and a comedy writer. I'm like that mean old whiskey drinking uncle of yours who was only nice to you right before he touched you inappropriately. I also write, run, and produce all content for a news satire site called "The Daily American" (linked below)