Created
Jun 26
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MISSING
:( jjjunebugg has been missing and away for almost a year!
June 11th was the first anniversary of the death of my brother, Neill, with his buriel the day before Father's Day last year. This year has been one of the saddest and most difficult of my life. There have been a few varied posts as I desperately requested prayer during the few weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer followed by several others following his Homegoing, but for the most part, I have been unable to share the continuing desperate pain I have experienced.
And in the meantime, a lot of life has gone on......some good and some not so good! In fact, most of us in my family for myriad reasons, have been Climbing the Unclimbable Mountains, Swimming Upstream, Running Against the Wind, and probably Dreaming Impossible Dreams, to complete my list.
I found a really great image to in part express how I am feeling inside and outside, but....after I finally managed to reset, retrieve, and "re" a bunch of other things to gain access once again to my Photobucket account, I, The Great Untechy One, was unable to do much of anything with the photo as far as posting it here with the exception of resizing it whether I wanted to or not, twisting it, turning it, and debating whether it should be sent to Twitter, Facebook, and a number of other places I frankly have never heard of, but nowhere could I discover any mention of sending it to SU. My attempts to copy URL's proved futile--seeminly only accomplishing the opening of a bunch of other boxes or features, so.........you will just have to use your imagination and visualize! In your mind's eye, see in basic black, gray, and white, a few random boards, barely holding together as the remnants of an old floor or something, all splintered and jagged in places, and impaled here and there with a few old rusty nails!
I'm weathered, faded, and worn, splintered and broken, my heart, mind, and emotions have been pierced as if by nails. In so many ways, my life and I have seemed beyond repair!
Yet, even yet, my faith carries me---over the mountains, through the floods, and rides the winds! I am still keeping on keeping on, though not actually on SU--too many other desperate needs to be addressed during this year, but little by little I am healing and hoping and believing for great good ahead in my life, which hopefully includes reconnecting with dear people here on SU.
My sentiments may sound trite to some, but truly, I have thought about so many of you at different times and have wondered about your lives and health and that of loved ones. I know and remember and have prayed for precious ones fighting such great battles for life themselves and wept and wept when I learned that my dear Chesapeake Man had left us without my being able to say how much I valued him and his friendship. I am so eager to get in touch with so many of you, and yet, I am afraid--afraid of what battles you may have been fighting while I have been away and have not helped you in prayer or encouragement. I will do my best to reconnect and try to just "Be Here" should you need me.
I have a heartful of thoughts and emotions that I want/ need to share and I hope to as I can, to help me with the process of my grieving about life and the loss of life, and just how the things that ordinary days are made of can be so hard and many times overwhelming, particularly if certain days are a "Perfect Storm". I hope to begin sharing some of this year's journey, perhaps, even tomorrow. For now, it seems I will just have to be blog some blogging, since the beautiful images I kept imagining through the months will defy being posted by me, until I have my tutori