From the page: "
Home | UW | Archives | Reference | Contact |
Bigger Text | Default Text | Smaller Text | Facebook Tweet Google + Email
Jews: The Unloved People
August 14, 2013
reunion.jpg(left, not my family)
We grow from the seedbed of family. A recent family reunion
reminded me of factors that Influenced my early life,
factors that cause Jews to be overachievers.
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
They say, "You can choose your friends. You can't choose your family."
I wondered why a recent family reunion was not more relaxed and enjoyable. I felt I was under a microscope. My siblings and in-laws scrutinized my every word and deed, anxious to provide unsolicited help. My nephews seemed to show off and need praise. My nieces were struggling.
I concluded that feelings of inferiority and insecurity run in the family. Everyone bares the scars of a period of emotional deprivation. Is this characteristic of just my family or Jews in general? Is it universal?
I felt "unloved" when I was younger. There were some family-specific factors. As a baby, my dad wouldn't let my mother feed me except at designated meal times. He read it in some book. He was training a wild animal, and so let a hungry baby cry. In general, dad wasn't emotionally ready for family responsibility so soon after surviving the war. He did his best but some children have an insatiable need for love and affirmation, especially when they don't feel it.
My mother loved us unconditionally. But the father's role is crucial in the development of a child's psyche. He channels God's love in terms of building character and self confidence. You can't phone it in.
We listened to the news at supper; my dad would be lost in thought. Now, almost 90, his mind is somewhere else most of the time. But he has never been sweeter and more good natured.
jewishbrain.jpgIn Jewish families, love must be earned. The Jewish God is demanding and vengeful, more of a wily business partner than a benevolent deity. "Obey me and you will rule the world."
Jewish children cannot count on unconditional love. They must earn it by "being successful" -- amassing money, social status and power.
This is why Jews often are overachievers. I recall my aunt telling my cousins and I, "Be successful children." And in material terms, we were. Doctor. Dentist. Lawyer etc.
Except my nieces who could not handle the pressure "to succeed." In another age, it would have been enough for these attractive girls to have gotten married. But now they had to become brain surgeons instead.
In the Jewish tradition, worldly success is seen as proof of God's blessing. In contrast, the Christian God is Love. Christ is merciful. He loved the lepers. Christian children don't have to be successful to be loved. Do they?
"HATED FOR NO REASON"
This may come as a surprise but many Jews have an inferiority complex. It's why they boast about how superior they are. When I was a child I had an inferiority complex, and I suspect my family did as well. We always undervalued ourselves. Feelings of inferiority seem to feed the compulsion to overacheive.
The inferiority was partly due to being told "Jews are hated for no reason." Most Jews don't know the reason they are disliked. Not told of bankers' plan for humanity, or the many other legitimate reasons for antisemitism, they chalk it up to "envy." It's a puzzle to them. But it has "