CrackMonk

Like everyone else on the Internet, my crippling fear of being tricked overrides my ability to find things amusing.

Oh wait, no it doesn't.

(That aside, this is one of those stories that's only truly amusing if you think it really happened. It's written in such a way that I don't think it IS real, which sucks out about two-thirds of the funny.)

Clinging to outdated technology for the sake of nostalgia and completely imagined convenience? YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Welcome to all of my internet friends. If I were a dude. I guess. I don't really want to bang that many chicks.

I love the Internet sometimes.

This is not one of those times.

Guyz, I still have a copy of this on my bookshelf, not ten feet away. It was the best book I owned as a child. Man, when did children's books give up on humor? Did we decide one day that children are too stupid to get the jokes? Hell, if my parents didn't read me stuff like this when I was a youngin', I wouldn't be half as awesome as I am now. Even if your children ARE too young to truly understand some types of humor, it never hurts to try. And things like this stick with them, man.

On a related note, Elmo is a freaking pussy. Grover was the bomb.

I'm with felinethespian on this one. "No incest is consensual" is a vast generalization. The person who wrote this is giving a free pass to all victims of rape to behave however they want.

Yes, if I get raped or abused in some way, I'll be more likely to make bad decisions with the rest of my life. But to give up all responsibility for those decisions merely because something unpleasant happened to me (as an adult, no less) is basically saying that as soon as I've been raped, I no longer have free will and can never again make my own decisions. You can't take away that responsibility.

Freaking Huffington Post, man.

This would probably be more effective if I could freaking pause it and let it buffer. I wish the internet had more sympathy for those of us with shitty connections.

If we're lucky, maybe we'll never need a sequel to Rent.