I don't get how claiming to be a raging alcoholic constitutes as being wise. I get that some of these are clever, but "one minute I'm waiting for kate to arrive to join me in the jacuzzi for a romantic evening. the next thing I can remember is doing cold turkey in a vomit filled cell." Is just retarded. Who's supposed to be inspired by that?
When I grow up I wanna go through serious drug abuse, and then weeks of painful withdraws as I fight through rehab!