Posted on Aug 12, 2012
Interest
on Apr 1, 2009
Stumblers Who Commented On This Page
ManiacMegan
Megan
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do not buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'," as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy".. Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerabley more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy," "Good Laud," and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy."
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
Posted on Sep 29, 2011
AlisonRobin
Alison
"He needed killin'" nearly killed me.
Posted on Apr 9, 2009
wvwvwwvvw
wvwvwwvvw
HAHHAHA STEREOTYPES HAHAHahahaha
Posted on Apr 9, 2009
PsyKoWeeZeL
PsyKoWeeZeL
FIAL
Posted on Apr 6, 2009
lac9789
lac9789
Did a northerner write this?
Posted on Apr 5, 2009
gtoakes09
gto.
Almost all of it was true except for the part about it never snowing. I'm from NC and it snows all the time in the winter. I like the fact that these are all in good fun and not just another blatantly insulting "har har southerners is dumb" joke.
Posted on Apr 4, 2009
ssscuba1
Scuba Steve
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
freakin loved this
and pretty much all of it is true for the majority of my family :P
Posted on Apr 4, 2009
Samthenerd
Samuel
From the page: "Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. "
Ohhhh.
Posted on Apr 4, 2009
jackiebee333
jackiebee333
Going to the grocery store when an inch of snow is forecasted is so true!!!! We freak out about snow!