"7. After you give birth, you will begin to hate your spouse and wish he or she would just drop dead."
Just not true. Our trials pulled us together. We are 10X the team now than before our first child. Second child confirms that. Some of these are funny, but the bulk are cliche and inaccurate. If this truly is your experience of having children, then you need to assess your own fitness for parenting. Perhaps adoption is in order ...?